I heard this statement today and it resonated with me. We seem to wearing so much these days and I'm not talking about clothes. We wear our beliefs about others, about ourselves, how the world should be and how it isn't. We wear what we are not even aware of. Sometimes it's exhilarating. Many times, it can be exhausting and seem like wearing a fur coat (faux or real, doesn't really matter) in summer. You can only get so far without wanting to take that thing off.
The taking off though, really, it means change. Sigh. That is the part that we often procrastinate, push back and sometimes just say no to, even if it means staying in that negative pattern longer. We do know that pattern. It does feel safe, can we just admit it and not judge?
May I introduce you to the Frustration Formula? It's fabricated expectations combined with failed realities. Simple and complex. Maybe the first start to changing what we partner with is changing our expectations of ourselves and each other. Maybe we really look at what we really want to partner with and like a turtle stick our neck out, just a litttttttle bit, willing to do something different. Do enough of that long enough and we may end up wearing our perfect outfit. Donate the coat.
By: Gail A. Chester
Psychologist, PhD, LPCS, LMFT., Author